the brain, #2

Amazing how the brain gets in the way of real life, no? So much stupid thought that filters through the noggin. Okay, maybe it's just my noggin. Why is it that they can come up with a universal remote for all things but there isn't an off-switch yet designed for the brain? Yes, there are a hand full of pills that can do the trick, but wouldn't it be cool if we could just flip a switch to allow pure, unadulterated focus on a thing? It might be like the mute mode on the tv when your mate is trying to say something really important about the day even though the Mentalist is one minute away from revealing a most vital piece of information to solve the murder puzzle of the last 54 minutes? Is it possible to listen to two conversations at once? No, it's not. I think I digressed.

Here's why I don't own a crossbow or sleep naked.

I have a thing about break-ins. Who doesn't really but I sometimes go to bed thinking about it? It's not a thought that is at the fore of the brain, more assigned to the back 7/8's along side of the awareness of impending meteorites. But it's there. So, in the middle of the night when an avacado falls from the tree and lands on the metal roof on the back porch and.... Whathafu?... I'm up, I think, is someone breaking in? Good thing I'm not naked for a lot of reasons, and as I've mentioned in a previous post, I don't want to go into a knife fight with extra flesh exposed.

Second thoughts; where's my baseball bat? Oh, it's holding a window shut. Okay, then my diving knife... don't move or I'll ummmm come at you with this sharp pokey item. That won't work. Same with the machete. I should get a gun but that would take 5 days and the intruder would be done by then. And Martha would probably shoot me with it anyway. A crossbow is cool. I think it would be way more scarey to have a crossbow pointed at your midsection especially one with a laser sighter thingy. Wonder where they sell those... but then Martha would probably shoot me with that too, maybe thinking I was an intruder or not. And that would suck for the both of us. Jail time for her, hole in my midsection for me. A trebuchet is out. Long bow is just silly, though might be impressive.

Eventually I fall asleep going through my list of never changing options... just like counting sheep. Another two hours of wasted time thinking stupid stuff.